airplane humor

This crazy woman sitting next to me on the airplane tapped our stewardess on the butt to get her attention and told her to tell an airport employee to go back upstairs in the San Francisco airport to look for her satchel as the plane was about to take off... not once, no, no, but 3 times.  People on the plane began chanting, "Let's go!  Let's go!"  The stewardess told her, "Sorry ma'am, but she can't find your bag.  The crazy ma'am proceeded to say, "It's not a bag, it's a satchel," and then struck up a conversation with me for half of the flight.  When I was finally able to escape the plane (and the crazy ma'am) I was greeted with a hug from a stranger in the airport who I mistook for Laura's grandmother.  What a journey!

ministry through new eyes and new insight

It's amazing how the people in your life shape who you are.  This can be such a great thing, and it can also be a dangerous thing.  Who God shapes you to be is what matters.  There is and will be a different opinion from each person you ask.  I've learned to genuinely be myself.  This can be easy and it can also be impossible.  The me God created me to be is constantly changing, growing, evolving, and being shaped slowly, creatively, persistently, into the woman God created me to be.  A book I'm reading right now, by John Ortberg, called, "Me, the me I want to be, becoming God's best version of you," is about this subject.

Two wonderful women called me strong today.  I admit, I know I'm strong.  I believe everyone is strong in ways and everyone has certain weaknesses.  I definitely have both.  A weakness of mine, is that I constantly need to be surrounded by people or else I feel lonely.  This comes with the territory of being a quasi-extrovert.  This weakness can also be a strength.  Through people comes encouragement, at least through the people I choose to hang around.  Encouragement in my faith and/or encouragement by challenging my beliefs.  I love this, and I thrive on this!

Wisdom. Wisdom is knowing not to be limited by set rules that seem to be in place.  Wisdom is challenging and questioning everything.  Even those things you are sure you will "never" change your mind about.  One of those things for me is God.  I have never questioned the existence of God, but I have questioned attributes of God or reasons why God allows certain things to happen.  Such as, "God, why did you allow Priscilla's baby to die?"  Or, "God, why did you allow my sister to stray away from wanting to talk about faith?"  There are so many things I question.  So many things I don't understand.  I've come to accept that I don't have nor do I want to have all the answers.  I want to say only God has all the answers, but do I really know that God does?  I know God knows everything.  God knows what goes through my head every second of the day.  God knows my weaknesses and my temptations, even more than I recognize them.

What can I learn from this?  I've learned it's okay and healthy to question and struggle with things.  To challenge and embrace new ways of thinking.  To being open to listening to non-Christians express who they are and what they believe, and as a Christian not portraying an image that I know nor have all the answers.  Because, frankly, I don't.  And anyone or any organization that claims to know all the answers should be treated with skepticism.  I can stand by what I know to be true.  I can listen knowing my foundation, knowing my roots, and being willing to minister to people by stepping into their culture, whether physically or verbally etc.  Being willing to take risks, to step outside my comfort zone, to search outside the box, and being grounded in my faith and beliefs in God.

Thank you Nadine and Diana for challenging me this afternoon.  Thanks for your listening ears.  Thanks for telling me that being a pastor can "limit" you and thanks for allowing me to disagree.  Thanks for allowing me to share about the gospel.  Thanks for teaching me about one's "inner light."  You two have lights shining so bright from within you, it's hard not to have your lights consume the people whose lives you've touched.  Mine included.

Visiting someone in the hospital, being spirit-led, listening to God's voice, worshiping through song, dance, art, music, creativity, laughing, or however else one wishes to worship, seeing visions, prophesying, speaking in tongues, praying, reading, spreading and preaching God's Word, loving people, teaching about God's love, counseling, listening to people, crying or mourning with the hurting people, laughing and rejoicing with those who have something to laugh about and rejoice over.... amongst so much else.  This is ministry.

"Love the Lord your God with all Your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.  And love your neighbor as yourself." Matthew 22: 37-39

I challenge you to question, with an open mind.  Seek and search for the answers to everything, knowing your roots.  Think BIG.  Dream LARGE.  Trust in God.  LOVE!

What are some things you have questioned?
What things have you changed your mind about over time?
What has happened in your own life that caused you to ask God, "why?"
What does the word "ministry" mean to you?
What are you "afraid" to question?
What helps you "think big, dream large, or trust in God?"

Future plans!

Future plans:

*LRCC leadership, assistant day camp director from June 8- August 10, 2010.

*Immediately after, I move.

*grad school here I come...

*I need to find a church.  I only found 1 ELCA Lutheran Church in both the City of Orange and Tustin.  It had 30 people, all older....  Apparently the OC is very conservative... I had no idea... hope I will find my niche, and a great church.  It doesn't have to be ELCA, even though that's what I would like.  All my camps, youth gatherings, church family etc. is connected with the ELCA and it's where I feel comfortable.  We'll see what happens...

*This weekend, May 28-31 I'll be at a memorial day weekend camp with my church!  Goodbye youth ministry at Christ Lutheran!  This is my last hurrah with the church and the youth.  I will miss them all more than they know!

*Going to Disneyland with Eric, and Katie beginning of June!  Harmony is visting from Zimbabwe the next day!  It's going to be a fun filled week before leadership staff training!

There's my update on upcoming events in my life!  Thank you God for keeping my life exciting!!!!  I love God for that!

Love,
Kelly

God is faithful!!!

God is so faithful.  I wanted so badly to go back to camp this summer, but there was no spot for me.  I told God that he better have something pretty amazing planned for me for the summer because I couldn't think of anything that would be better and more rewarding than working at camp.  Then Anthony Briggs called me and told me a spot had opened up for a leadership position of assistant day camp director!!!  I was so excited and accepted the position.  I know God listened to my plea, that night as I sat on a bench under the stars, crying, telling God I was upset at Him.  But, God always comes through.  He is so faithful!!!!!!

I got accepted to grad school too!  I got into Fuller Theological Seminary, and I also have interviews the next two weeks at Alliant International University and Azusa Pacific University, which is my top choice!  I'm so excited to see where I end up!  So, I will definitely be moving out of Santa Barbara next year.  I'm excited but anxious too.  I've lived here my whole life, with the exception of my freshman year at the University of Denver (aka DU).  I had a terrible experience with that move and was completely homesick, but I was only 18 and just out of high school.  I'll be 25 in three days, so it's a little different now.

Also, I really like this guy, and he likes me too.  :) :) :)  He lives in a different state though so we are taking things really slowly and getting to know each other better.  I'm flying out to go to his graduation in May, and I'll be there for his birthday too.  We met at camp, and I really hope things continue to go well for us.  It's pretty exciting for me, because this kind of thing rarely happens to me.  :)  So, I'm very happy!  Yay!!!!

I auditioned to be on this TV show, Glee.  It was fun!  I don't actually expect to be chosen for the show, but it was fun auditioning all the same.  I recorded a 1 minute clip talking about myself, and then sang a 4 minute song, Lean on Me.  It was just a fun experience.

I'm so excited for my future.  Camp this summer.  Grad school in the fall, and maybe a guy in my life.  So exciting.  God is sooooo good!

God's love always,
Kelly

Readers:
When has God been faithful to you?
What things are you struggling with, that you wish God would help you with?
What exciting plans are in your future?

a glimpse of hope

there are some days where i glimpse hope.  a talk with a pastor who truly cares about how i'm doing.  a talk with a professor who goes out of his way to help me out.  in the midst of the business of life, i find joy through the smallest things.  a two hour phone conversation as the highlight of my day.  talking about things more real and important to me than anything.  knowing god's plan is at work in my life.  and knowing it brings me great joy and anticipation.

i live my life with hope.  hope for my future.  that i will glorify god in all i do.  hope that my future is successful and my love and passion for life remains strong.  there are days when i feel like giving up, but hope conquers this feeling.  god's grace is sufficient.  long periods of dry seasons are so tough.  but when the water quenches the thirst i've tasted for so long, it replenishes my soul's inner thirst.  to be filled with the water life requires is to be filled with god's love, grace, and mercy.

god truly listens and answers prayers.  i cannot imagine my life without god, my true love.  the love of my life.

through the friend that will never give up on you.  the friendship that will never dwindle.  through the friend's love hope will kindle.  through the new beginnings of a life brand new.  through the hope that god gives to you.  may you trust his works.  trust his sight.  trust that he will bring you light.  the hope i place in god alone.  will remain forever known.  more than anything in this world, i love you lord.  i thank you god for i've been adored.  by you, oh lord, who has rescued me.  who forgives me when your way, i cannot see.  through fragmented sentences i give you praise.  i love you lord, all of our days.  amen. amen. amen.

kindled by pain, risking for hope

Interesting title right?  I thought so.  :)

I was so sick with the stomach flu for about 38 hours (Monday night through Wednesday morning) and could not keep food down at all.  I was getting over a cold.  I quit my job as a nanny.  I'm job searching again.  I'm waiting to hear back from seminary.  We're still looking for one more housemate.  I was asking myself earlier this week where the joy in life was.

Now that is so easy to answer!  The joy comes after the pain.  Why must we go through so much, for lack of better words, bad stuff?  I'm eternally grateful now for God and I place my trust in Him always.  I hate pain.  It's one of few things I'll say I hate.  But only in the moment.  The outcome of pain is happiness and gratitude.  Think about it...  Have you ever broken a bone?  Say you broke a leg.  OUCH!  When healed, "Hallelujah and thank you Jesus!"  I can use my leg again.  I've never broken my leg, but I did break my face (fractured my orbital (the bone over your eye, near your eyebrow) in a few places.  So happy when I was able to move my face without it being painful and so grateful.  I take things for granted.  I take my life for granted.  I take food for granted.  Each morning I wake up I take for granted.  I take God's love for granted.

You can be kindled by illness.  Kindled by pain.  The outcome of pain that is.  Thank you Lord that you have brought pain into this life in order for us to be grateful and stop taking life for granted.  When something significant is lost, and then given back again, it is like being forgiven and blessed twice.  A second chance became my life.  Life is full of second chances and chances to get it right.  We will always get some stuff wrong, but we will learn most through our failures.  It's through our failures that we will get stuff right.  We learn from our mistakes.

I'm a cautious person by nature and I don't take many risks, though I'm learning that I grow most from taking them.  Working at camp was outside of my comfort zone.  It ended up being one of the best experiences of my life.  When you risk stepping out of your comfort zone it may be a blissful reward (as camp was in my life) or regrettably shocking (like moving to Denver my first year of college).  A story for another time.

God's promise to love us and give us hope and a future revives my soul's thirst for direction.

Thank you God for my life and help me to grow in You always.  Help me to take risks.  Through these risks help me to gain hope.  Help me to be kindled by pain and not tainted, disgruntled nor cynical towards it.

I put my faith, hope, and trust in the Lord always.  Lord, as I learned in the Bible Study tonight from Hebrews, help me to boast in Your hope... forever.  Amen.

This is a fragmented, unpolished, and unrevised post... but I like it that way for now.  Comments?

future direction and conquering my lonely heart

I've been blessed with getting further direction for my life.  After an evening breakdown before Christmas, frustrated with lack of understanding and direction, I've come to know a clearer direction for the future.  After meditating on Jeremiah 29: 11-13, the next day in the youth group I help run, we have something called the question hat.  I picked a question out of the hat, and it happened to have a question relating to the scripture from Jeremiah 29:11.  This was a reminder to me that God really knows the direction He has for me.

Thank you God for putting certain people in my life that have confirmed gifts you have given me.  Last Sunday a young woman who shares my name came to our church.  She is in the Master of Arts in Family Studies program at Fuller Seminary, in the school of psychology.  I told her I was interested in working with families and youth in the future.  I've always worked with kids, and I have a passion to work with families too.  In fact, my friend Harmony, prophesied over me saying that I would work with families in the future.  This was really cool, and didn't surprise me a bit.  I've applied to Fuller for next year, for the Master of Arts in Theology and Ministry program, with an emphasis in youth, family, and culture, in the school of theology, and I'm waiting to hear back from the school.  Only time will tell.  I'm excited about the possibility.

I feel like I've been putting so much energy and focus into my part time jobs (I'm a nanny, a youth director, and a voice and piano teacher all at the same time).  I don't have much time to get involved with any Christians around my age (I'm 24) and find support from other people.  I've felt lonely lately, and as far as I'm concerned it's one of the worst feelings one can feel.  I'm trying my best to be comfortable and lean on God when I feel lonely.  I can do this to an extent, but it is vital for me to have human interaction, and comfort.  As much as I know God is with me, carries my burdens, and will never leave me nor forsake me, I still need to be loved by friends on earth.

I feel as though I've been stripped away from most friends this year.  After graduating from college, my friends have moved as far as Zimbabwe and China.  Some of my friends at Westmont have yet to make any effort to spend time with me.  As much as I've tried to maintain my friendship with them, if they do not put any effort into trying, ultimately the friendships will disintegrate.  It's sad but true.  My camp friends I miss terribly, and because I don't think I'll be going back to camp this summer, a large piece of my heart is torn from my inner being.  I love my camp family so much, and I will forever love and cherish them.  It saddens me to no end, knowing that I will not be a part of their family this summer.  For those of you non-camp people, it's like having a close group of best friends, and all your friends are spending the whole summer together having literally the time of their life, and you cannot be there with them because your job is keeping you from being able to go.  What do you feel?  Disappointment, depression, longing etc.

Being a natural extrovert, I need to be around people.  It's so hard being alone all the time.  I eat most every meal by myself.  It makes me a little sad each time.  I remember last summer when I ate my first meal with camp people.  I sat down and innately felt a little disheartened because I'd been conditioned to be sad to eat meals by myself.  But then, with my friends around me, I was able to talk to people and laugh and enjoy meals without being alone.

Oh man, I hope this blog hasn't been overly depressing.  Sorry if it has!  All this to say, I long to find people in my life that bring me joy again.  I have a couple right now, and I'm waiting to find the rest.

I've been reading the Bible everyday and my New Year's Resolution (which I've never done before, haha) is to read the Bible in a year.  I'm on a plan that will help me do this.

I have hope that the direction in my life, the friends I hope to meet, and the goals I long to pursue, will bring me closer to God and ultimately bring me happiness.  I'm trying to focus on the present and not worry about the future, as it says in the book of Matthew.

Readers:

What direction do you feel your life is headed?
When have you felt alone?
What do you hope for the future?